fuckin' shit, isn't it?

[V]

from experience and observation, it's pretty much impossible for the fuckbuddy thing to work out.  unless it's very short term, somebody always winds up developing something.

it's strange to say that working in a titty bar's given me a greater understanding and sympathy of men, but it has.  and also, appreciation for the nice guys... though i can usually pinpoint right where they go wrong.  and, that there are more similarities than there are differences between men and women.

[Osbourne Kilminster]

It's a long story to tell, but I think I've got this girl all worked out. Her last relationship was during an intense 12-week Police training thing where they all had to stay residentially and do stuff. She had a hard time and some guy stuck up for her and stuff developed, initially as the fuck buddy thing but she fell head over heels for him, somehow. Apparently, it went on, they got jobs in different areas of the country and kept metting up, then both applied for a job at the same place, which I think made her feel like shit might proper work out for them. The problem was he had a long-term GF and kids who he'd never actually leave. She told me of an instance where thye were both in bed, post-cardio, and the guy's GF phoned and asked if they were finished, but he said no and I think that really hurt the girl. The job thing didn't work out as he got it and she didn't and her love remained unrequited, tragically. That was 6 months ago and she still bristles if it's mentioned, despite going on and on about it all the time herself.

He's apparently a really muscular dude with a shaved head and proper into the MMA thing, so I think when she met me at New Year, she didn't see me at all, but a substitute for him. She wanted to do a relationship thing with me, at first, because I think she thought it was the closest she'd get to being with him? I dunno. Then, when she realised that wasn't going to work, she started to bail, but I didn't have all the pieces to work out why. I thought she liked me for me, fool that I am.

[Roken]

Write an arrpee and let it go...

[Sinnybuns/Mika]

from experience and observation, it's pretty much impossible for the fuckbuddy thing to work out.  unless it's very short term, somebody always winds up developing something.

it's strange to say that working in a titty bar's given me a greater understanding and sympathy of men, but it has.  and also, appreciation for the nice guys... though i can usually pinpoint right where they go wrong.  and, that there are more similarities than there are differences between men and women.

Funny you say that, another good piece of advice for women everywhere...don't fuck with a guy's head too much, or you might end up with a knife in your ribs. 

[Osbourne Kilminster]

Been stabbed a few times, eh?

[Sinnybuns/Mika]

Hahaha, only once and I learned my lesson right fast. 

[Jackson]

I wish I could say a bunch of well-wishing shit about how things will get better, but they probably won't. Most, if not all, the good guys in the world get shit on. It's like they attract the bottom feeding gold digger sluts who only want to ride the pole and then move on.

Once in a while though, they luck out, and find a keeper. Maybe this'll happen for you, Oz. Maybe it won't.

Only the Gods know for sure.

[Roken]

I go with older women. It's better that way.

[Osbourne Kilminster]

This last one was older than me by 2yrs. A fucked-up bitch is a fucked-up bitch. Age is just a number.

[Sinnybuns/Mika]

This last one was older than me by 2yrs. A fucked-up bitch is a fucked-up bitch. Age is just a number.

Damn skippy.

[RingOtaku]

and a whore is a whore. Remember never tip her because they overcharge anyways.

[Osbourne Kilminster]

You just have to be an absolute out-and-out fucking twat about everything, don't you? No, seriously. Yeah, a bit of fucking banter and sarcasm and shit online is cool, but not here and not fucking now. Fuck you. I'm glad your life is so fucking perfect that all my shit merely provides moderate amusement for you, so why don't you go and fucking live it and keep the fuck away from what you don't know, you ignorant fucking cunt.

[RingOtaku]

Dude take a deep breath. You want the truth? Here is the truth: Yes I am a jackass with little patience for people bitching about how bad they feel. The reason why? I spent several years doing nothing but bitching and feeling sorry for myself and it got me jack squat shit nowhere. I wasted my life and opportunities to be happy.

So what I do with folks who insist on being mopey? I keep tossing bad jokes at them until they crack and just fucking laugh at themselves and their situation. Because when you start laughing at your problems you start moving past them. It's real therapy and real help as opposed to the "awww poor baby yeah life sucks" pity shit everyone else gives you. Everyday of my life I wake up unhappy and go to bed unhappy or too tired to feel unhappy. I spend half the day lost in fiction, sometimes of my own creation, because I know all too keenly that reality is nothing but endless cruelty and if I stay there I will kill myself. I nearly did it several times before.

Life Sucks. People Are Assholes. It will never stop and the only way you will ever stop hurting is to learn to laugh at pain because then the pain washes off. If you don't laugh you die young. So I'm the court jester of the human race. I take the rotten fruit and heckling so that the rest of you are better off. You may not believe me, you may not get it but it's the facts.

Ask Lisa, Ask Sinn. I care more about people than I should and have suffered just as much bullshit as anyone else. The difference is I welcome it because if I'm hurting it means someone else has made themselves feel better and being a target is the only thing I've ever been good at so I accept the job.

[Osbourne Kilminster]

I feel bad that you have to pour that out. Truly, I do.

I operate differently, I suppose. I'm always in a position where I have to accept it. It's like a mutual embrace or some kind of twisted, impossible double choke-hold and whoever lasts longest wins. Pain always wins. ALWAYS. Sometimes, I just have to let it rape me because I eventually come to realise that all the fighting isn't going to help me. After each instance, I just hope that the worst I'm left with is a new scar and another bitter seed of resentment to add to the collection.

Poking and prodding and mocking isn't helpful to me, even though it may be to you. If nobody at all ever replied or said anything here, I'd be cool with it because it's just an outlet for me rather than a big old lake to fish for sympathy. I'm stuck in a little flat or apartment or whatever and I don't have a big posse of close friends who I can trust or turn to and these walls are going to get sick of hearing me roar and sob and yell and if they weren't solid fucking stone I'd smack shit out of them.

[Osbourne Kilminster]

Loud Static-X seems to help a little bit.